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Five Best Questions to Ask a Mentor

 Speedy Mentors       2 yrs ago

The best mentors are adept at guiding mentees, providing advice and support when the going gets tough. At some point in a mentoring relationship, however, you might feel like the conversations you have with your mentor is not as energizing or encouraging as they used to. You might even think that the relationship may have run its course and it is probably best to write it off. If so, think again.


Know that a mentoring relationship needs to be consistently nurturing to be sustained. While it is your mentor’s job to take the lead in the relationship, that does not mean they always need to do the nurturing. As a mentee, you also have the responsibility of being proactive about the situation. Given that you have noticed the relationship has become less impactful, you need to step up and initiate activities that will re-invigorate mentoring discussions. One of these is by asking questions to your mentor.


The value of asking questions


Questions are powerful tools, and when used in mentoring relationships, they can bring a whole range of benefits for both you and your mentor. Here are some reasons why asking questions prove to be valuable.


  • Encourage active listening. Asking effective questions is tied with active listening. After all, it is impossible to solve a problem, if you do not fully understand the issue at hand. When you ask questions to your mentor, they will have to put everything else out of their mind to acknowledge you and your questions so they can provide feedback. 


  • Start and propel conversations. Questions are an empowering way to tap into other people’s thinking. When you raise a question, you ignite the other person’s imagination or curiosity, encourage them to explore ideas, or stimulate their thinking. As a result, they will be inspired to engage in a conversation with you, and you can keep things going by asking follow-up questions.


  • Generate action or insight. The right questions can push the receiver to discover insight into their own ways of thinking and encourage them to take action. So when you ask your mentor a question, they will likely channel their attention to your enquiry to stay with you, offer their insights into matters you have raised, and possibly even reflect on their own thoughts and actions.


Best questions to ask a mentor


Knowing how powerful questions are, it is time to put them into good use to enliven your mentoring relationship. Take a look at five of the best questions to ask a mentor below and implement them at your next meeting.  


Can you help me figure out my blind spots? One of the reasons you engage in a mentoring relationship is to improve your blind spots—behaviours or skills that require polishing so you can become more effective at what you do. Your mentor is the closest person outside of your immediate circle who can honestly tell you were you might be lacking, and at the same time offer advice or suggestions on how you can improve or overcome them.


What will you do if you were me? This is a type of question you can ask if you are involved in a specific situation that is preventing you from moving forward. Asking this to your mentor will help you pick their brain, encourage them to share past experiences that may be aligned with what you are experiencing, and receive recommendations on how to face that situation head on.


How can I improve on this? When you are trying to work on a new skill, you need different perspectives to get a good view of how that skill is showing up. Raising this question will also help you have access to resources that your mentor can suggest, which you can leverage to polish that skill. 


How can I help you? By now, you are most likely aware that a mentoring relationship is a two-way street, which makes this one of the best questions to ask a mentor. Keep in mind that it should not just be you who keeps on receiving. You should also be able to give something back no matter how small it may seem. Asking your mentor how you can help them offers both of you the opportunity for additional self-reflection, and also establishes a more open and beneficial two-way dialogue. 


Ask anything FORM. FORM is the shortened version for family, occupation, recreation and motivation. Questions around these topics are excellent icebreakers and rapport builders. Take note, however, that some FORM questions, especially those relating to family and outside work activities, can be sensitive. With that in mind, phrase your questions properly and make sure they do not cross the line.


  


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